I get scared easily. When watching a movie I will gasp and jump at the slightest scare; when reading a book with an intense scene I will keep the lights on until I absolutely have to go to bed; when walking alone in broad daylight down crowded Ventura Blvd I will look behind my shoulder dozens of times; when the blinds bang on a window sill from the wind my immediate thought is a ghost. And yet, with all my anxieties, my favorite holiday is the scary one: Halloween.

   Why on Earth would I, a perpetual overthinker, love Halloween more than the Fourth of July, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas, when all is merry and bright? Well, I have come to realize that Halloween invites joy just as much as any other holiday. 

   When I was about ten years old, my dad and cousin took me to the Walking Dead maze at Universal Studios. Zombie after zombie lunged at me through cell bars and I jumped back, startled at their realistic ferocity. However, I realized that they weren’t actually real, and after a second I took a deep breath and carried on. I felt a sort of pride that I could remind myself that they were actors with makeup and that I was going to be okay. As we exited the maze, a smile spread across my face; I was able to control my fear. I felt powerful. 

   Since then, I’ve continued chasing that high of conquering small fears. I’ve gone on many stomach-churning roller coasters, given speeches in chapel, and skied nearly vertical runs, all of which curdled my blood. However, even with all of this conquering of fear, fears are still very real. The fear of being alone, the fear of being kidnapped, the fear of failure can sometimes lunge at me through the bars of my will, seize my mind, and chill me to the bone. For 11 months of the year, I fear fear. But in October, I celebrate it. 

   In October, I seek out fear and the thrill of a jump scare. Halloween is a time when humans are able to enjoy getting scared. Because everything is fake, they don’t have to worry about what is going to happen to them; they only have to focus on feeling the emotion of fear and not the real-life consequences. Although it sounds counterintuitive, Halloween gives people the ability to let go of fear and, in turn, embrace it.  

      I have gone to Hollywood Horror Nights at Universal Studios every year since 2019, with the exception of 2020, due to COVID. The intense music, the crowded street, and the pyrotechnics all give me a rush of adrenaline and a feeling of excitement. When walking in the streets, actors dressed as serial killers, possessed dolls and grim reapers on stilts chase after those who dare to enter the park. It may sound horrifying, but isn’t it incredible to laugh when a guy in a mask comes at you with a chainsaw instead of running away screaming? Isn’t it absurd to be able to see a monster from your worst nightmare and walk away as if nothing happened? It’s ridiculous, hilariously fun, and downright thrilling. 

   With this electrifying embracement of fear, joy is able to grow. Like any other holiday, Halloween has been a bonding experience for my family. Going to Horror Nights for the past two years with my cousin and our dads has made us closer. We reminisce on our favorite moments all year and anticipate our return to the land of the brave. I find this sweet and adorable — the opposite of what Halloween seems to be, but true all the same. 

   The atmosphere of Halloween is just as comforting as it is scary. Watching a horror movie under layers of blankets and a bowl of popcorn surrounded by good friends is a feeling like no other — one that I like to call harmless trauma bonding. Experiencing Halloween with people I care about has brought me closer to both my friends and family, with yelps from jump scares ending in bubbling laughter. It isn’t hard for these events to become shared core memories. 

   Fear is both a villain and companion in life; it is uncomfortable and always there. I have been on a long journey of facing fears, and the road ahead is as long as my life. While I am scared of many things, I am proud of every small fear I’ve overcome. After all, small accomplishments are still accomplishments. But sometimes, it’s fun to just let myself be scared without the feeling of impending doom. And for me, that’s what Halloween is for. Although its true meaning may be hidden under a ghoulish mask, when unveiled, Halloween is a joyful holiday that embraces fear and brings people together.